Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She bit a glass in half.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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