Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am puke
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
