hell yes lets make some ravioli
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize