i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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