Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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