Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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