He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize