so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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