Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My pussy is not your playground.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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