I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
