thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
