He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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