I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
