I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize