It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
