Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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