okay pat passed out under dana's car
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
