hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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