Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
