why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
