Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
