We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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