I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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