We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
