I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
