I wish I could punch you in the face.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He felt like a one man threesome
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have already put on my inside pants.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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