as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
