Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
