i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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