I showed him my bush... on skype.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
