Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
