just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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