I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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