I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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