She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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