He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
