My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
third nipple confirmed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
