remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
