id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
