Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
