I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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