your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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