found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize