Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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