Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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