This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
