that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I still have a little drunk in my system
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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