nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
