i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
