I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
