dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
