hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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