The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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