That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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