Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
