Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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