And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
