and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
