like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
