By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
