She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
