in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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