windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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