doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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