On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
