Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
