This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
