Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
NoShamevember. You game?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
