Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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