Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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