And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize