Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
