Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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