i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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